The Eternal Tournament of Oddness
by Dude Smith
Summary: Several of my friends and I enter a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament, although it turns out differently than we expected! See the Trap Fusion round, the Field Magic creation round, and more! Guaranteed wacky!
1. The Field Card Creation Round

Okay, quick briefing in narrative form.  
  
Well, FlamingTigressMage, Natx, Tamara Raymond, Dekar, and I are all Yu-Gi- Oh fans. So, when we heard there was an interesting contest going on, we joined. The only problem was, we got transported to the Yu-Gi-Oh world with holographic fields, etc. (Don't ask.) Anyways, Ishizu Ishtar comes up to us and tells us that one of us has to save the world by winning the tournament. . . Marik would be in it, etc. So. . . [Time to switch out of narrative!]  
  
Announcer: Welcome to the first annual.  
  
Random Person: It can't be annual yet if it's the first one!  
  
Announcer: Fine. Welcome to the first-ever Eternal Tournament of Oddness, where everything is completely strange! *wild cheering* The world's top Oddness duelists come here to play!  
  
Tamara: Hey! I thought that this was a dueling tournament. . .  
  
Dude: We all did. But, of course, this has to be "special."  
  
Dekar: Special? *FlamingTigress snickers*  
  
Dude: Hey! Shut up! It's my story, OK? Hey. . . *FlamingTigress (now known as FTM) and Dekar suddenly are wearing chicken suits*  
  
Tamara and Natx: HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
FTM and Dekar: Hey! Get us out of these!  
  
Narrator: But Dude was too busy hearing the announcer. . .  
  
Announcer: The first round shall be the Field Magic competition! Each person gets to make one Field Magic card! The funniest gets 2 points, the stupidest gets one, and the most useful gets 3 points! By the way, it's 3- way matches. Anyways. . . the first match will be FlamingTigressMage, Random Person, and Idiot Named Bob.  
  
FTM: DUDE! I HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS BEFORE GOING DOWN TO PLAY!!!  
  
Dude: *quietly* Haha. Serves you right for everything. . .  
  
FTM: What?  
  
Dude: Umm. nothing. Anyways, what will you do to get out of that?  
  
FTM: Uh. How does not hurting you for the rest of the school year sound?  
  
Dude: And the next. . .  
  
FTM: *muttering* [strikethrough text] I'll be wearing this suit for a long time. . . [end strikethrough] And the next. . . *FTM's chicken suit disappears*  
  
Dekar: Hey! What about me?  
  
Dude: Hmmm. . . All of your Yu-Gi-Oh cards in the real world.  
  
Dekar: Fine! *Chicken suit disappears*  
  
*FTM goes down to play*  
  
Announcer: Idiot Named Bob, what is your card?  
  
INB: It's the Field of Slurpees! It gives all hungry monsters an extra 500 ATK!  
  
Announcer: Uh. . . Right. Random Person?  
  
RP: The Field of Evil Gym Class! Every turn this is on the field, Mr. V. [a really evil teacher] comes down and does 1000 damage to your opponent!  
  
Announcer: Oooh! FlamingTigressMage?  
  
FTM: The Hair-Pulling Field! Every turn, all monsters with hair on the field get their hairpulled and lose 200 ATK and DEF points!  
  
Announcer: Scoring: INB gets stupidest, one point. RP gets most useful/funniest, five points. And FTM gets useful/funniest (Hey! It was a tie!) for five points!  
  
FTM: Woohoo! BEAT THAT, LOSERS!  
  
Announcer: Dude Smith, Evil Person, and Marik!  
  
Dude: AUGH. Why do I have to face Marik? Wait. . . My author powers!  
  
Announcer: Sorry. I meant Dude Smith, Evil Person, and BillyBobJoeBobJim.  
  
Dude: Much better. How does the. . . Field of Destruction work? Every turn, all of your opponents' monsters summoned that turn are blown up by Tamara's machine guns!  
  
EP: The Field of Idiot Named Bob! All monsters become stupid and rarely obey orders!  
  
BBJBJ: The Cowboy Field! All horses lose 300 ATK and DEF points!  
  
Announcer: Evil Person wins all three!  
  
Dude: AHEM! *whispers into announcer's ear*  
  
Announcer: OK, OK! Anything but the "ride-on-a-Petit-Moth treatment! Dude gets all six points!  
  
Dude: Heehee. Cheating is fun.  
  
Narrator: Anyways, Tamara's was the Field of Machine Guns, destroying every monster on the field (3 points), Natx's was the Field of Japanese Cards which allows Japanese cards to be played (3 points), and Dekar's was the Field of Neutrality, which does absolutely nothing (2 points). 


	2. The Trap Fusion Round

A/N: Modified Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any character in this story. I have permission to borrow Tamara Raymond's jokes (some of them, at least. I only use about two.) Any similarities to other stories are purely coincidental. OK, sorry about all that junk. I kinda had to. . . Anyways. . .  
  
Narrator: Welcome to Chapter 2! The chapter of JOY!  
  
Dude: OK, you're really close to being sacked. Meanwhile. . .  
  
*shifts to a meeting of masked people*  
  
Big Guy: Welcome to the fifth meeting of Pyromaniacs Anonymous!  
  
***  
  
Announcer: And now, it's time for round 2! The Trap Fusion Round! *wild cheering* Everyone uses the card Trapymerzation to fuse up to three traps! Scoring is as before.  
  
Natx: Trapymerzation? I suppose that that fuses traps?  
  
Dekar: No, really? I thought it fused magic cards!  
  
Natx: Hey! Watch your mouth!  
  
Dekar: I can't see my mouth! *fight erupts*  
  
Random Tournament Manager: Hey! Stop that or you'll get disqualified!  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Unknown Voice: Marik! Come here!  
  
Marik: Well, well, well. Another challenger? Hahaha! I shall crush you! Hey, where's my Millennium Rod?  
  
Unknown Voice: Now, you are MY mind-slave!  
  
Marik: Noooooo!!!!  
  
*** Tamara: Did you here that scream?  
  
Dekar: Yeah! It sounded like Marik! WOOHOO! Marik screams like a girl!  
  
FTM: A girl? Is that supposed to be an insult?  
  
Dekar: Uhh. . . Umm. . .  
  
FTM: I'll get you for that!  
  
Both: Ow! Hey! DIE! *Tamara is dragged in* You little! DIEDIEDIEDIE!  
  
Crowd: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!  
  
*all three suddenly fly apart, crying. Natx and Dude start pulling a huge amount of onions out of their pockets*  
  
Natx: Onions? Where did these come from?  
  
Dude: Who knows? I'll just erase them. . . HEY! My author powers are gone! NOOOO!!!  
  
Unknown Voice: *out of earshot* Hahahaha. . .  
  
Announcer: And now comes Marik, INB, and Dekar!  
  
Dekar: Ugh. Well. . . here goes. I fuse Attack and Receive with Solemn Wishes to create Attack and Wish! It's a Continuous Trap that lets you make a wish every time you attack, and then you flip a coin. If you call it correctly, your wish is granted. If not, you lose. But! I fuse THAT with. . . uh. . . ah yes, Chain Destruction to create Chain Attack! It's a Normal Trap that allows all attacking monsters to let you draw a card and wrap up other monsters in chains!  
  
INB: I fuse Trapymerzation with Trapymerzation to create Double Trapymerzation!  
  
Announcer: Uhh. . . that made Trapymerzation.  
  
INB: OK then!  
  
Marik: *talking with the mind-control freaky voice* I. . . will. . . fuse. . .  
  
Dekar: Hey! Look over there! A two-headed thing with the Millennium Rod!  
  
Tamara: NOO!! It can't be!  
  
Dude: NO!  
  
FTM: NO!  
  
Natx: NO!  
  
Dekar: NO!  
  
Dude: The evil, terrible, horrid. . . VOLITLER!  
  
*explosion is heard in the distance*  
  
All: NOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Dude: The evil fusion between Ms. Witler [an evil math teacher] and Mr. V!  
  
Volitler: HAHAHAHAHA! I will enslave you all by forcing you to do easy math assignments and MAKE AN EFFORT! [That's one of Mr. V's evil sayings] *jumps up to the roof and flies away, still mind-controlling Marik*  
  
Announcer: Anyways. . . Continue, Marik.  
  
Natx: Wait! If Volitler *explosion is heard in the distance* had the Millennium Rod, what about Marik?  
  
Dude: Uhh. . . Uh-oh. HE'S MIND-CONTROLLED!!  
  
All: NOOOOO!!!  
  
Marik: I. . . fuse. . . Card. . . Destruction. . . with. . .  
  
Announcer: Hurry up!  
  
Marik: *still in the mind-control voice* Fine! IfuseCardDestructionwithShadowofEyestocreatetheterribleevilhorribleeylashdes troyer!  
  
All: What?  
  
Announcer: Slow down!  
  
Marik: Well, you wanted me to speed up, so I did.  
  
Announcer: Don't test me!  
  
Marik: Oooh! If 3x+4=4, what does x equal?  
  
Announcer: Oh, JUST GET ON WITH IT!  
  
Marik: I fuse CaRd DeStRuCtIon. . . [A/N: I give full credit to DVD185 for the Shift key thing. . .]  
  
Natx: What's wrong with his Shift key?  
  
Tamara: Who knows? Maybe Volitler *explosion is heard in the distance* did it?  
  
MaRiK: wItH sHaDoW oF eYeS tO cReAtE. . .  
  
*Random person comes in and fixes the key*  
  
Marik: The terrible, evil, horrible. . . EYELASH DESTROYER!  
  
Crowd: NOOOOOO!!!!  
  
FTM: Uh. . . Eyelash Destroyer? Is Volitler *explosion is heard in the distance* crazier than we thought?  
  
*FTM and Tamara burst out laughing*  
  
Both: eYeLaSh DeStRoYeR? NoW tHaT's fUnNy. . . hEy, WhAt'S uP wItH oUr ShIfT kEyS nOw?  
  
Dude: Ugh. . . Dang typos. . . But there is one message board username that says it all: tuckingfypos! *fixes Shift keys*  
  
Tamara: Much better.  
  
Marik: Which destroys all monsters' eyelashes, making them angry, which makes them get bad test grades and not MAKE AN EFFORT!  
  
Random Person: What's wrong with th. . . OW!!! *gets smacked on the head by the Millennium Rod, right as Tamara collides with INB*  
  
INB: *in high voice* Bubbles, this is uncomfortable! *in a different voice* Oh, Blossom, shut up! *in yet another voice* Buttercup, watch your mouth! And no, Blossom, we can't!  
  
Tamara: WHAT?!?  
  
INB: Uhh. . . nothing. . . you must be delusional. . .  
  
*Natx pulls off INB's cloak, revealing the Powerpuff Girls standing on each others' shoulders*  
  
Tamara: The Powerpuffs!? GET 'EM! *our little group pulls out machine guns, flamethrowers, etc. [We obviously hate the Powerpuffs]*  
  
Powerpuffs: Eeek! Run away! *fly off, only to be intercepted by Volitler*  
  
Volitler: Ahh! My cousins!  
  
Powerpuffs: What a bad day. . . TEDDY!!! *they fly away*  
  
Volitler: WAIT! Give me your math tests and MAKE AN EFFORT! *goes after Powerpuffs*  
  
FTM: Cousins? The Powerpuffs are Volitler's *explosion is heard in the distance* cousins?  
  
***  
  
Later. . .  
  
Dude: So. Our scores are decent. They're all between seven and. . .  
  
Loud voice from nowhere: THIS CHAPTER IS TOO LONG! END IT!  
  
Dude: I was about to! Now. . . Aha! There you are!  
  
BOOM!  
  
Dude: Much better. Anyways, I was saying that they're all between seven and eleven. So, we all qualify for the next round.  
  
***  
  
Narrator: Will Marik be stopped? Or, for that matter, will Volitler *explosion is heard in the distance* be stopped? What other freaks are hanging around in disguise? Find out in the next chapter of. . . Uh. . . what's the story called again?  
  
This narrator has been sacked. We apologize for the problem.  
  
Dipsy: Time for tubby. . .  
  
BOOM!  
  
This narrator has been sacked and shot. Apologies.  
  
Rabid Malik [Marik's Japanese name] Fan Girl: WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HAVE MALIK MIND-CONTROLLED?  
  
Dude: Geez, calm down. And anyways, aren't you supposed to be on the GameFAQs board?  
  
RMFG: Yeah, but WHY DID YOU MAKE MALIK SUBJECTED TO TORTURE? *charges Dude*  
  
Dude: *dodging* AUTHOR POLICE!  
  
Policeman: Rabid Malik Fan Girl, you are arrested for a) being a non-author barging into a FanFiction story, b) not staying on your home board, c) attempting to maul an author, and d) being a Marik fan girl.  
  
RMFG: WHAT! Charge d is wrong! And. . . MMPH!! MMMPH MMMMPHHH!  
  
Dude: Tamara? Torture time! *Tamara laughs evilly* Oh, and you too FTM!  
  
FTM: FUN!!! 


End file.
